București Log #2 - Turning 20.

​10 February, Tucano Coffee, Bucuresti. 16:00, Iarnă.

It’s my late birthday! 

I turn 20 this year, I know, crazy.

The me who turned 19 last year would not have expected that I’ll be thousand and thousand miles away from my family, my friends, in another country, another continent, another ‘life’.

Since I arrived here, it has been nothing but a turbulent, rough, patchy road. Most probably because I was alone, which is very unexpected considering I thought I could survive being alone by myself anywhere. But, it you’ll most probably be prone to this devastating state, especially when you are barely 19, being in a country where you are the obvious minority, not having anyone to guide you. It’s just you, and this estranged world.

I guess those few months has taught me some life lessons that i learnt the hard way;

1. No man is an island. 

As cliché as it sounds, and as reluctant as I am to admit it, there is a reason why we are born in a world where we need to be in society. No matter how ‘independent’ you are, sometimes you need to tear down the wall, and ask people for their hand.

2. It IS an EFFORT to make friends. 

Growing up, I think relationships and friendships comes naturally that i don’t even need to think about it, from my classmates, my neighbours of the same age, the junior and the seniors in our school, and our family. I don’t think so I have ever been in a situation where I really need to put me myself out there and struggling and desperate to find ‘another soul’ to befriend with. Now, I need to allocate the time myself to go out and interact with people, and remembering to keep in touch with them after some time before we drifted away and be back to stranger point. It is hard, but the human interaction is also what i need the most as an international student. 

And afterwards

3. Balancing your life and the social life.

 It is nice when you got to know a lot from people, friends of your friends and all. BUT, as a huge introvert, it gets overwhelming at times. And that’s the moment I need to start drawing lines back, to not let myself be ‘drowned’ in the presence of others. It is very hard to keep the balance between them, especially since I never ‘learn’ nor ‘experienced’ this kind of situation before. For now, it is enough for me to allocate one day in a week for ‘socialising’. It will take me a few days to recharge, and then I can use my energy again for study, and other things.

4. You are the sailor of your own ship. 

Coming here, it is like a reset button. Like a toddler who plays with the building blocks, acting like an architect in building the tallest tower, but then the towers crumble down, again and again.

That’s me, I felt like a toddler, with no prior knowledge nor talent in being an ‘architect’, in my case it is in being a ‘human’. I never get to ‘drive’ my own life, it was all set to me; going to school, studying, joining the allocated clubs and programs, and that’s all.

Now I’m here, there’s no one who tell me what to do, or someone who I can follow. It all’s up to me. I need to seek out there, try and error, like dipping your french fries to different kinds of sauces, to find the one that is the most to your liking. 

This is the hardest and the longest thing to do, because preferences changes, people changes, circumstances changes. I need to set my priority, juggle between them, and find my own ‘colour’, so I do not only live to ‘live’, but also to ‘feel’ the life (:

So in short, the biggest lessons are about relationships with humans and ‘being human’.

Pretty much a ‘welcome to adulthood’-existential-kind-of-realisations. Haha.

I do not know whether I will be okay along the way, which is very unlikely considering the rough path I’m choosing right now. But well,

you’re 20 right now. (:

Some photo dumps-

Can you see that I am trying to love the city?