On gratitude and living in the moment - an entry from Acropolis, Greece

It is 11 October 2024, and I am sitting in a cosy bookstore-cafe just a stone’s throw away from Acropolis, Greece. 

I can’t believe I am here, enjoying a velvety cup of hot chocolate, comforted by the wooden-cosy interior of the cafe filed with books, with the sound of people chattering at the background dancing lightly in my ears. It is my sixth day here in Athens, and I am here for a short mobility project on natural products and drug development. It is my second time joining this kind of program- and I am truly grateful for the opportunity.

After a long, long summer full of occurrences and turbulent of heart- but also felt short, I am back to the land of Europe, thousands of miles away from the comfort of home. It is a hard goodbye to my loved ones— especially since it was the first time I’ve seen them after almost 3 years of dedicating myself as a student, ‘perantau’— berjihad menuntut ilmu di tanah asing.

I thought it would be hard again to adapt back to everything— the life that I left in Romania since a year ago, since I was in Scotland for my exchange year. The language, the culture, the people—

But alhamdulillah, 2 weeks have passed, and I have been overwhelmingly blessed by Allah through every seconds that I breathe. 

I moved out to my new cămin (dormitory) that offer the best condition out of all other 4 cămine I have resided before, I was blessed with a sweet and kind roommate that share the same passions as I am, I met and rekindled back with my old classmates and colleagues, I got great and helpful professors that understand my situation and difficulties in learning, I met another hijabi at the faculty (!!)— and all other countless blessings I encountered everyday!

Just a few months ago, I was dreading to come back to Romania- because I was afraid that I need to ‘relive’ all those challenges and drawbacks— to switch back to the ‘survival mode’ back after experiencing a delightful exchange year in the UK, and mostly because of the language. Though I love Romanian language, every second of my time at the university felt like a chain of burden on my shoulders— to force my brain to work double-triple times to decipher the language. I feel the most foolish in my cohort as I can’t understand the basic instructions, or to even reply to a basic question asked by my professor. I always need to ask my friend to explain things for me, and borrow their notes as I am not capable of understanding and capturing the information from the lectures. I felt helpless— it felt like my mouth was shut and I am incapable of expressing myself— always conscious about how I try to speak Romanian, as I am certain I sounded not better than a toddler. 

But, two weeks in, and I felt like ‘it is not that bad actually’. I managed to keep and maintain simple conversations with my friends without feeling too much of anxiety. I am able to go out with a Romanian friend for the whole day and speak Romanian with her (though I still struggled a lot to construct cohesive sentences). My class schedule is not that bad (I still have 8am-8pm classes but it’s doable), I met kind and thoughtful people at the faculty, feel the crisp autumn wind brushing my face lightly every morning, and I got the chance to experience living in the historiacal land of Athens, Greece (with scholarships!). Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli 🥹

So, talking about Greece…

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much before coming here. I was just thinking of it as an ‘escapism’ for me from my struggles in Romania. But then- the first day kicked off. Though I encountered some problems upon my arrival, my following days have been filled with smiles and warmth in my heart! 

The program that I joined is a blended intensive program of pharmaceutical science— in which I had daily virtual lectures on relevant topics, with a week of physical mobility at the National and Kapodistrian University of Athens (NKUA). When I was applying to this program back in spring 2024, I wasn’t really hoping much to get in, as I was also at lost about the directions of research I want to pursue in for the future. But alhamdulillah, amidst all the rejection of internships I got back then, I finally get a ray of light with hope. And coincidentally, the program aligned pretty much with my final year project! So I learnt really A LOT from the lectures— meeting wonderful professors and master and Ph.D students to ask advices for. Such a priceless experience <3

And…. I fell in love with Athens! Such a historical city, bustling with the living-in-the-moment vibe. There are stories to every road— with beautiful cafes and restaurants that’s always full of people. Everyone just seems to be enjoying their day-to-day life here! The same at the faculty, everyone was just sooo kind and chill. Despite the heaviness of the lecture materials, we got to enjoy our time and be at a slower pace to adapt with everything (:

If I got the rizq, I might want to live here for a while! 

I was also very enthusiastic when listening to the lectures! Every single of the presentations were very intriguing— especially those on drug delivery methods. Though I feel quite behind from others as I came from a more of molecular biology background, as opposed to chemistry/pharmacology background, I felt like a little kid learning the alphabets all over again! And I was pretty active in the classes?? I ask questions to satiate my curiosity— even if those questions sounds too basic/dumb to ask. But I guess, I was also just happy that I can fully express myself in English— a luxury of asking questions in class that I don’t have in Romania (:

Now that I think about it again, it is sooo beautiful how Allah has planned and organised everything for me. Like I wrote previously, I was dreaded and devastated over the past few months. Though I think I did have the best time of my life in Scotland, but I was at lost- total lost. I got rejected from all the programs I applied— lab volunteer and internships. Nothing really works out for me. But then I got accepted to this BIP program, and I feel the sparks in my heart again that made me fall in love with research and studying! What a privilege for us humans, at this times with the technology, that we are able to design and create such cures to help fellow human <3

I can’t wait to go back to Romania and start to study diligently all the knowledge that He bestowed us! And I am hoping, deeply hoping that with the remaining time of mine in Romania, I will be able to overcome my anxiety— and express myself to the world again, despite the language barrier.

And lastly, I am praying that I will get to represent muslim in the best way possible. I have a lot of shortcomings, and being away from Islamic environment might not help me much. But it can actually be the opposite— as I am able to be more genuine and truthful of my actions and efforts. Not to please the ‘society’, but to please Allah, and Allah alone, insya Allah.

Amidst my brief time in Athens, I got reminded back to my old 11 years old self. I remembered watching-and-reading ’99 Cahaya di Lang Eropa’, an Indonesian film revolves the story of Hanum and Rangga- a married couple continuing their studies together in Germany. As I have been dreaming about studying and living in Europe, this movie served as a pivotal point for my dream to manifest in my heart. To live my dream abroad, and also to embody the life as a muslim in the foreign land. To be ‘agent muslimah yang baik’— that’s the motto I have been holding on to, that I wish to uphold as long as I am breathing, in sya Allah. Though I still have a lot, A LOT of shortcomings, may Allah ease everything for me, for you, and for everyone who are trying their best to strive as a better Servant, daughter and son, student, friend, partner, and human.

Amin ya rabbal alamin <3

song playing: ‘Cahaya di Langit itu’ by Fatin

Love,

Heba

22:10 Athens, Greece (Little Tree Books and Coffee)

11.10.24