SPM Straight As - Thoughts (2019)

Asssalamualaikum and hello!

It’s been months since the announcement of SPM results. I remember feeling nothing during the previous months I was isolating at Jakarta alone, but then freaked out about It once I set my first step of the year at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA).

I remembered bombarding my friend about how anxious and scared I felt upon waiting for the results. The thing was that I done very badly in Addmath and Physics paper that I felt there’s no chance for me to get even an A-. Also that no one in KAA (Kelas Aliran Agama) in my whole years of studying there has ever gotten a straight As, considering how tough it is to be studying and focusing in 11 subjects at one (12 in my case). But even so, the thought of not getting a straight As alone makes me shivered because I’ve been expecting the results my whole life ever since knowing Dr Amalina’s achievement in SPM.

But, results. isn’t .everything.

That’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself, and also a fact. I come to finally calm myself and not expecting much, as I know how hard I’ve worked all this time, I know myself the sufferings and things I’ve sacrificed, so it doesn’t matter what’ll the result be.

But, but, but.

Now I got another anxiety, of what people will think upon me. In others’ eyes, I’ve always been a top student, holding the great responsibility and high expectations from my teachers especially. My parents said they don’t care what my results will be because for them, what’s important is the value of what I learnt and they’ve witnessed how much I studied back then. But I’m afraid of giving my teachers disappointment, especially for those who taught me before. I’m afraid that I’ll need to dig a hole and hide myself on the results day because the attention would be on me.

But,

My friend told me that, the world isn’t revolving around me only. Yes, I’m the top student, but people wouldn’t be focusing on me all the time. ‘Ah.. you’re right, you’re right!’ Why I’m too cooped up in my whole self-centred world only?

I forgot that it wouldn’t be just me on the day, a lot and more students are just as nervous as me, or even more.



I wouldn’t be getting to fly high all the time, and that’s okay. It’s okay to have failure, because failing means there’s no other way going down anymore, the only way afterwards is reaching up and high.

The results day came. I tried to be as calm as possible upon reaching school. Passing the juniors eating in the hallway with calm and grace demeanour. But once someone approached me, those shield I’ve been putting on shattered. Cold sweat starting to be excreted. I feel the heat against the cold sweat beads on my face, and yes, I looked totally terrible that time. I can’t hide my nervousness anymore.

On 10 something, the results for 7As and above are announced. One by one, my friends went up to the stage with a grateful smile on their face. I can’t look up and started to text my friend at other school frantically, knowing that she won’t answer anyway since she’s also receiving her results there.

When it goes up to 10As, the whole world muted around me. I could hear and feeling nothing. It feels like I’m in one of those movie scene where the whole world are moving in fast-forward leaving me alone in confusion.

My friends around me told me that they’re sure I’ll get a straight As, though I denied frantically, I’m afraid of end up disappointing them too. Suddenly they asked me to sit in a ‘circle’ between them ( we were sitting on the floor that time ). And I was like NOOOO I wouldn’t get it.

And suddenly, boom, my name is called. And I was as clueless as forever, wait what is the result I got? I didn’t hear a thing from the announcement. And as clueless as a lost chick, I got up, and everyone around me applause for me.

I got up to the stage and it was written ‘Semua A’, and I started to cry lol. I literally couldn’t believe it, like, how did I even!? Okay I was embarrassed and regretted it that I cried lol, I think someone got my ugly face crying picture. I still couldn’t believe it till now, that’s why I only post about it once on my Instagram story.

 Because I don’t think I deserve this.

Though I did work really hard the past 2 years, but getting a 12 As, precisely 8A+ and 4A seems to be a dream. I was very sure that I did my Addmath and Physics very badly, I was even scared I’ll score badly in Biology and Chemistry too.

But I guess Allah wanted to tell me something by giving me this very gift that I don’t deserve. I still can’t say I’m a straight As student confidently, or share it to the world. Because this results isn’t solely achieved by my blood sweat and tears, but rather, they are actually a precious gift from my family, teachers, friends and other who always pray for me in their prayers.

So, I hope that this results would not only gives pleasure to my heart, but also as an inspiration to others too, especially to my very dear juniors.

I see this as not an achievement for me, but rather an obligation to help and share my experience and knowledge to others, so that they’ll have more faith and guidance in surviving their high school years. Thus why I’m trying to give tips on my Instagram and blog as the way of 'repaying' this back.

But sometimes I’m feeling hesitant to do so, what if it seems like I’m bragging? What if they don't even need it and I was the only excited one here? What if the tips aren’t even useful for them?

Those thoughts keeps haunting me and I got anxious again. I’m always overthinking in every of my actions both in real life and online because of this scaredy-cat heart of mine. But, I’ll try to chin up and be brave. Because my niat is to spread goodness and benefits to others. Anxiety shouldn’t be in my way for that. So I’ll try my best to overcome that :')

Lastly, if any of my junior are reading this (thank you!), please please please do not make your results as the sole goal of studying! Of course, it’s great to be the top student, getting praised and receiving awards, but if you makes your results solely dictate your value as a student, that’ll make you distressed and unhappy ☹ Getting any bad results doesn’t devalue yourself as a student and getting a better results does not means you are any better student than others.

What’s more important is your determination and keikhlasan in studying for the sake of getting the knowledge and understanding the world, not only for exams. What’s important is your attitude as a student, towards menuntut ilmu and action towards your teachers and friends. Since I was young, my parents always tell me to not be stressed out because of exam results, just do you best and be ikhlas in studying, and insya Allah success will follow you in the end.

I guess that’s all now. Now onto the next stage of life. Im skek skskskdks but here we go. Please pray for me :’)

Love,

Heba

8:13 a.m,  19^th June 2020

(featuring mocha's wildness and whitney's curiosity)

(my dad edited this for me >.<)

Hospital Playlist Season 1 Review (2020)

THIS. DRAMA. IS. A. MASTERPIECE

I wasn’t expecting that I would love the drama this much. Actually I’m not a fan of medical drama before, but since I watched Romantic Dr. Teacher Kim S1 and S2 earlier this year, I become obsessed! And to my surprise, this drama is really one of a kind among ALL dramas that existed.
 I was curious about this drama because of Shin Won-Ho PD, he’s well-known for The Reply Series which I love. I always remember the warmth from Reply 1988 that I watched few years ago. Even though I’m quite sad that there’s only one episode per week, but I have a huge RESPECT to Shin PD because he tried to make a new change to korean drama production, which would not tire the life out of the crew productions, giving the best show while maintaining the quality and the welfare of those involved in the productions :’ It never crossed my mind how hectic and overworked the staffs are to produce 2 episodes per week (especially during this pandemic). I really hope this will make a good start and example for k-drama (and other) productions to take care of all staffs too! Oh and anyway, if you do the math of the duration of all 12 episodes, it would be less and more equivalent to the 16 episodes of regular kdramas, as one episode is approximately 1.25 – 1.5 hours . So we are not actually losing a lot from this 'new system'.

At first, many people weren’t sure if this drama going to success or not since it’s a ‘non-linear’ drama, no main plot or ‘problem’ that drives the story. But turns out this drama gets the recognition it deserves by both Korean and international audience! This drama is really a fresh story to our frantic life. As usual, Shin PD-nim took the risk to create such a ‘normal’ plotline with a lot of characters. I was quite reluctant to watch it at first, but I trust Shin PD and Lee chakkanim’s vision of drama and proceed watching it as soon as the first episode is released.




There are a lot of things that makes me love this drama so much. The main reason is because the characters. The ’99 squads; Chae Song-Hwa, Lee Ik-Joon, Ahn Jeong-Won, Kim Jun-Wan and Yang Seok-Hyeong as the main stars have their own distinctive and subtle traits and charms that attracted the audience. I love every single one of them. Even though they have different personality; Song-Hwa the wise all-rounded perfect human-being, Ik-Joon the happy virus and party leader, Jeong-Won the pure and kind one, Jun-Wan the grumpy strict yet mature and righteous, and Seok-Hyeong the introvert yet attentive and cute, they really make a perfect squad! All the characters are really lovable and relatable. This drama is very different from other dramas because the storyline isn’t just revolving around the 5 leads, but we get to see the glimpse of other characters’ life and it was done very subtly and smoothly that I don’t feel overwhelmed at all to focus on several characters. The fact that we get to see different side of the story makes me feel more attached to other characters as well! I can relate much to some of their stories and it really makes me feel warm in my heart.

There are some characters that I would like to mention;

- Jang Gyeo-Wool

-          My first impression of her wasn’t that great. The first scene of her was when she being blunt and straightforward in telling the patient’s mother that she could’ve save her child earlier if she do the CPR, but was confronted by Jeong-Won, him telling her that a doctor shouldn’t just straightly stating the fact without consideration beforehand, especially when it involves to the patient’s life. JGW immediately realize her mistake and make up for it. Even though she’s a very cold and blunt person, she learnt her mistake quickly and become more sensitive towards other. I really enjoyed seeing her character progress throughout the drama. I also love that she didn’t give a damn of what other thinks of her, she just being herself all time but open to personal growth. And of course, it was Jeong-Won who became the main protagonist in melting Gyeo-Wool cold and rigid heart *winkwink.

- Do Jae Hak

-          Awwhhh I really love his character. He’s soooo precious!! At first he seemed like the kind of person who’s very careless, sloppy, and could not do anything right. But turns our he has such a big and lovely heart. His interaction with Professor Jun Wan never fail to make me laugh and feeling warm. If I could make a simple metaphor, Jae Hak is the water and Jun Wan is the fire. Although their personality totally clashed together, but they really compliment each other. Jae Hak’s huge compassion is really really heartwarming. He’s really sensitive when it comes to other feelings and actions. One scene that strucked my heart was when he was at the lowest point of his doctor life after getting trouble with fussy patient along with getting scammed for the money he and his wife saved for years, he still have the will to move forward and not succumb to the sadness any longer. It was already hard for him to even be a doctor, the fact that it took him years to pass medical school. He said that even though he’s lacking a lot in term of ‘living decently’, the only thing he’s good at is working and studying hard, so he shall stand with it till the end. His determination and strong-will is very admirable WE NEED TO PROTECC HIM AT ALL COST!!! I’m really sure he’ll be a good doctor in the future <3

- Chu Min Ha

-          I didn’t pay attention at her at first, but as time goes, I grow fonder of her character. I love how she’s straightforward and very hardworking. Although she is fast to complaining and venting her anger, she’s very considerate of others and honest with her own feeling. She endured the hardships very well and determined to do a great job. I’m wishing her well for her relationship with Seok-Hyeong, they really suit each other well  <3

Love Line Story

The love line of the story is very well executed. I was not expecting that there’ll be one since it is not the main theme of the drama and of course, it’s not the main driver of the story. But I’m very glad that it’s also included as it gives me the pleasure of fangirling for each episode! What I love about it that it was done very subtly and realistically, not forcing the love-line to us viewers all at one.

 Lemme fangirl for every love-line story here;

-        1.   The first one would be The ‘Dove’ couple, Jun-Wan and Ik-Sun. Though their love story escalated fast in the beginning, but it didn’t slow down my excitement towards them. I love how mature and understanding their relationship is. Though Jun-Wan is a rigid person, he’s very understanding towards Ik-Sun as he cherished her very much. Ik-Sun at the other hand never failed to amaze Jun-Wan (and me), I can totally understand why he’s attracted at her! One thing I learned from them is that; COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY! Also, I think the chill-outgoing personality really does runs in her family lol. I really stan her with her brother they’re very hilarious together. I can’t wait to see what’ll Ik-Jun say about their relationship later (even though deep down I’m pretty sure he already knows that because EXCUSE ME? Ik-Jun is the most fast-witted character that ever exist there). The ending of ep 12 was sad though, I hope there wouldn’t be turbulence in their relationship ☹ Jun-Wan has sacrificed a lot to let her be happy in her own way :’)

-          2. Min-Ha and her brave love for Seok-Hyeong is very admirable. It started off with Min-Ha’s prejudice and one side judgement towards Seok-Hyeong, which later blooms to an admiration and respect. I love how their love story line is portrayed subtly yet surely, their progression is very cute. Not sure if it’s going to work out in the end, considering how complicated it would be by the moment Min-Ha knows the intricated side of his family. Seok-Hyeong draws a distinct line between them from the very beginning till the end, but I’m sure he did that because he cared much for her that he didn’t want her bubbly and lively self to get involved with his life messiness :’ Ahhhh Seok-Hyeong is so considerate and attentive I’m really rooting his happiness with Min-Ha <3

-          3. Ik-Joon and Song-Hwa’s pure love. I wasn’t expecting Song-Hwa’s love story to be with one of the guy of 99’ liners, but I’m relieved that we get a huge hint between her and Ik-Joon, and their relationship is actually that becomes the most anticipated story for season 2! Knowing Shin PD’s style of giving vague hints and confusion especially for love story, he totally caught us unguarded at first, though some of us speculated of them at few first episode ( also with Jun-Wan), but it was merely speculation because we didn’t get visible hint earlier. Deep down, I’m sure that Song-Hwa also have a deep feeling towards Ik-Jun, at least some kind of crush in their med school life. And they are really perfect together, I love how Ik-Joon only show his vulnerable side towards Song-Hwa, and always end up looking for her by the end of the day as if that’s what he’s anticipating the most when finishing his work. But even so, their story is going to be really complicated. They are already in safe zone of close friendship for about 20 years, it’s not easy to cross the line and evolve to a relationship, especially that they both already got history together before, new commitments and works. But I really hope their relationship will work out in the end :’ I mean, boy Ik-Joon has been suppressing his feelings for freaking 20 years for the sake of friendship because of his big heart!! We need a happy ending for him, and of course, U-Ju needs to get a new ‘real’ mom this time to grow up with lots of loves and affections <3

-         4.  And lastly, our main end-game of the drama, Jeong Won and Gyeo-Wool, or our precious ‘Winter Garden’ Couple! <3 Oh my I’m fangirling them very very much!! I love how innocent Gyeo-Wool’s love towards Jeong Won. Their scenes together always gives me a butterflies in stomach, even if it was a simple gesture of their eyes-lock during the surgery scene. I love how Gyeo-Wool didn’t give up till the end, even though it seems like there’s no hope anymore to stop him from becoming a priest. I think most of us can relate to her one sided unrequited love :’ But even so, she didn’t waver and still be honest with her feelings. Jeong Won in the other hand, he totally drew a clear line since the very beginning (that makes my heart ache for Gyeo-Wool), didn’t give any visible hints and keeps denying his feeling. But welp in the end we knew that Gyeo-Wool has always been deep in his heart asjsfskjwkjfipwfn. I love how their love story is not forced just because of the viewers demands. We know that he’s always been wanting to be a priest, not wanting to leave his dreams despite his mother’s clear opposition ( I can understand how devastated Mama Rosa would’ve felt when all of her children becoming a priest and not having a family of their own:’) ). But in the end, he realised that he’s always been loving his work. He’s the best example of a good and virtous doctor out there, especially that the fact that medical field is seriously lacking of paediatrician. In the two last episodes, we can see how his determination to be a priest waver, and we’re shown of multiple scenes of his pure passion for taking care of others as a doctor, and adding to his great affection towards Gyeo-Wool that become the ‘trigger’ for him to stay at Yulje Medical Center <3 I totally enjoyed and fangirl this slow burn romance very much, looking forward to see the cute side of them later in season 2 dknfoknfonwdpkwn. And of course, HUGE THANKS TO Ik-Jun for representing us as the cupid for their relationship!!! I LUV YOU IK-JUN!!!!  I’m sure Ik-Jun will be a proud father knowing that it turns out well in the end xD I can imagine him teasing Jeong Won forever HAHAHAHHAHA . Can’t wait when for it :p *smirk.

 

Special mention;

Mama Rosa and Jong-Su everlasting friendship!! They’re veryyyyyy adorable and playful together even though they’re already at old age. At first, I thought Jong-Su and Ju Jeon are another ‘greedy’ men of power wanting to overtake the hospital after the death of the hospital’s director, but turns out that they’re very virtuous and responsible. I love every single scene of Mama Rosa and Jong-Su, especially the bickering part asdhsfindkd! One of my favourite scenes was when they’re looking for her car in the hospital parking lot, only for her to remember that she actually took a taxi to the hospital lolol. And how in the end they just got dumbfounded and laugh out of loud together, realizing that they’ve gone old and slowly forgetting things easily :’) Ahh I really wanna spend my old days happily and joyfully like them :’) <3 I stan their friendship very much. I do hope Jong-Su will find serene in his old days just like how Mama Rosa successfully prevent Jeong Won to be a priest, and getting a new daughter in law too!! :3 <3

 

The Ost (s)

I love all the soundtracks and their band performance. Every single songs in this drama has this nostalgia feelings that makes me wanted to reminisce the old time (that I don’t actually have lolol I’m gonna play the playlist again in 20 years later). Each song tugs my heart and makes me feel very happy and warmed. The beats, the lyrics, and the vibe just light up my mood everytime.

My favourite OSTs are;

-         -   Introduce Me a Good Person by Joy

-         -  Gather My Tears by Whee In

-         -  Beyond the Rainbow Forest by Park Hyu Jin

And my favourite Mido and Parasol  performances are;

-         -  Aloha by Cool (Seok-Hyeong is so cuteee!! now I feel like going to noraebang with my crackhead friends too)

-          - Oh! What a Shiny Night by Crying Nut (the end is so funny sksksks)

-        -   Confession is Not Flashy by Lee Seung Hwan (we know who you’re singing to Jeong Won ;p)

-          - With All My Tears by Seo Ji Won ( this is very heartbreaking ☹ )

 

Last Note

What I would like to highlight the most from the drama is how relatable the story is to a lot of us. Sometimes, we forget that we are actually the main hero of our story just because we don’t have this ‘life-turning’ or grand bombastic event in our life. This drama depicted that despite everyone leading a different path of life, having different professions, works and commitments, we are all just human in the end. We all suffer, cry, and laugh together at some point of life. Even though there’s no main plot/catalyst in the story, it was the characters who drove the story. This drama didn’t require all of our attention for its plot, rather, just letting us to immerse and enjoy the very mundane daily life of people of hospital and the patients. The side story of the patients always hit me hard in my heart. I always thought hospital as a scary place where people being bedridden sick and dying, but this gives me another view of hospital, rather now, I see hope and compassion of people at the hospital. There are a lot of scenes that makes me cried, and also makes me grinning alone and laugh like a mad girl alone. The interaction between the patients, the doctors and other medical staffs really warmed my heart. This makes me appreciate doctors and all involved in medical field more, because each one of them will always be doing their best in treating the patients and wishing for their health and happiness <3

By the end of each episodes, with the particular drum beats that gives us reassurance and perfect closure feelings, I always have this warm feelings in my whole heart and mind. This drama makes me wonder a lot and I learnt a lot about ‘life’ in every episode. All the characters’ story resonate very well for me that I’ve grown TOO attached with their life. I felt like as if they all exist in real life. Watching this story makes me want to work very hard to reach my dream, but also to enjoy every single moment in my life with big heart and mind. And of course, finding some wholesome squad like the 99’ers! I really hope that I’ll get to do things I’m really passionate with later, and surrounded by kind and wholesome people just like them all <3

What I’m looking forward for Season 2;

-          -  Ik-Jun and Song-Hwa’s relationship

-          - Winter Garden CUTE MOMENTS

-          - Whatdeheck seok-hyung’s ex-wife want appearing again in his life

-          - The truth behind the returned packaged of Jun Wan’s gift to Ik-Sun

-          - Why Jeong Won always has a headache (I hope it’s nothing serious if not I’m gonna cry he is about to have a happy life with his loved one skciowdoiwdnfo)

-          - Chi-Hong’s development to be a better doctor, becoming a new and responsible chief and moving on from Song-Hwa HAHAHAHAH ( I never ship them :p )

-          - Mama Rosa and Ik-Jun’s reaction to Winter Garden couple

-          - Jae Hak getting happy moment (oh dear he suffered a lot already)

-          - Yoon Bok and Hong Do ‘s characters development

-          - U-ju and his cuteness!!!

-          - MORE AND MORE BAND PERFORMANCE TOGETHER!!! (hopefully they’ll get to perform publicly in the hospital and showcase their talent!)

I find myself rewatching back few scenes from this drama, watching the FMVs, Mido and Parasol’s performances, and real doctor reviews of this drama after it ended. Can’t wait for season 2!! I have a lot more to write (especially the 5 crackheads) but I’m going to save it for season 2 review skdnncsdnnw.

Thank you for reading my long fangirling and ranting post <3 Have a nice day ! 😊

Love,

heba

(8:40 a.m, 15^th June 2020)

till, we meet again in season 2! <3

*PSSS Extra Wholesome GIFs of Andrea cause asdkasjkadkwof <3

(all GIFs and pictures are from google image and tumblr, credit to the rightful owner)

WEEK 21 & 22 Life Update / Watchlist '20

WEEK 21 & 22 Life Update / Watchlist ‘20

Assalamualaikum and hye! This is the second post for weekly life update, well not exactly weekly since I combined 2 weeks into one because I just don’t feel like posting for the last week.

Anyway, May is like the starting point of my 2020, yep it took me 5 months to finally ‘start’ my life lol. And that’s on me doing things I’ve been wanting to do, finally designing my days to fit my comforts and mood. I’ve been enjoying life lately, for finally putting off the unknown pressure that’s been haunting my head since forever. It’s nice to finally have the moment for myself without thinking about a lot of thing.

Life Update

1.      Y O U T U B E

Finally after struggling for approximately 6 months, I finally edit and post my SPM vlog on my youtube channe! I must say, for me personally, doing something requires my ‘mood’ and motivation entirely. I used to think that I have so little time in my hand to do these things. But, looking back, I managed to post a few videos on my Youtube during my hectice senior year, even a few days before SPM. And that’s kinda crazy to consider my packed school schedule. After SPM, I straight out trim and arranged my vlogging clips for the entire year, that could be considered finishing half of the video. But suddenly, my motivation just gone afterwards. I thought that, ‘ ah maybe I need to rest a lil bit more and enjoy the freedom, wait till I got the entire time for myself to edit this ‘.  And woops, I took the rest till months lol. I was scared that I might not even post it at all! But suddenly, after the whole penpalling stuffs going on, and me finally posting an unplanned video, I finally get ‘THAT’ feeling back. ‘THAT’ feeling that I’ve been waiting since forever. I managed to edit the video in just a few days although it was really complicated and long (for me). I’m grateful that finally I’m getting my life together lol.

*Psss- a new short vlog upcoming!

2.      R E A D I N G

Guess who’s finally outta reading slump?? I’m reading The Infernal Devices trilogy and TOTALLY IN LOVE! I dislike TMI so I wasn’t really putting any expectation for TID (though seeing people fangirling Will Herondale makes me curious about him). And I’m not regretting reading it at all. I still have one book left to read and not ready yet for it. Though I’m planning to read the book choice by my summer reading club, Educated by Tara Westover. I also trying to slowly write reviews for books I read from the beginning of the year, both at Instagram and Goodreads.

3.      E I D  //  R A Y A

A different eid, a different experiences, one to be remembered forever. I wish to write more, but I’ll save it for another blog post *wink.  Hope you’re having a wonderful raya !

Watchlist

1.      A Piece Of Your Mind  (TVN)

I downloaded this drama when it first aired, but wasn’t really attracted to watch it. But now that I’m out of kdrama supplies, I read the reviews and it seems like the type of drama I would like. Give it a try and, I LOVE IT. The warmth, coziness, soundtracks, cinematography and all ARE EVERYTHING <3 Ya know I have a thing for cinematography and instrumental scores. I’m on episode 5 and loving it for now. Though sadly the drama is cut into 12 episodes (initially 16 eps), I’m expecting the plotline is going to be rushed and might be some things unsettled at the end :’( Nevertheless, my eyes has been blessed by the aesthetic of the drama <3

2.      Hospital Playlist (Netflix / TVN)

Oh oh my. I just finished it a few hours ago and I STILL CAN’T MOVE ON!!!! This drama is a gem! It’s just perfect and very realistic. The warmth and ‘realness’ from the characters and the story makes me experiencing raw feelings of human relationships. I can’t emphasize how much I love all the characters there, even the minor one. All of them are so real and distinct in their own ways. I might write a full review on this beautiful show :’) My writings won’t be sufficient to project how beautiful is it but I need to share my views on this drama with all of you , good things are meant to be shared <3 Anyway, this drama crept to my top 3 kdrama list, and it really deserves that. (well I have quite a standard for kdrama :p)

Thank you for reading my non-important life updates. Nothing really new, but I just wanted to document my life progress in my blog, even though when it’s just like another normal days; just binge-watching and reading books. But I’m trying to find ‘beauty’ and joy in what I’m doing, keeping track of them in a very chill-laid back way so that I could read them back in the future. Hope you’re having an amazing days! Farewell May, Hello June <3

WEEK 20 Life Update / Watchlist (2020)

Assalamualaikum and hello! This is the first trial of making weekly life update in hope that I’ll write more regularly. Since SPM ended last year, I’ve been losing track of time, and adding to this whole quarantine phase it seems like time is untrackable now. My mental health is fluctuating up and down, but thankfully the bookstagram and fandom community has help me keeping my sane. After leading a sedentary life for about 5 months, finally I’m getting a new motivation to make my life more meaningful and also documenting my life journey starting now. Not trying to do anything ‘grand’ or straight up forcing myself to be productive all time. I’ve tried it before and failed miserably. So instead of trying to follow other’s lifestyle, I’m here trying to ‘design’ my own life, as what The Bliss Bean (youtube) suggested.

Life Update

1.      P E N P A L

I received a portrait painted by Zy Masri (@zy_masri) last week, though we’re stranger, but she’s willing to send her paint along with 2 full pages of handwritten letters. This really moved me a lot. She told me about the beauty of spreading kindness to other people, even to strangers, especially during this pandemic situation that has taken a great toll on all of us mentally, physically and financially. And from that moment, the letter inspired me to also write to others too, as writing letter is the only thing I’m good at. Actually my fellow bookstagrammer, @persephtiyareads brings the idea of exchanging letter too before, but I had to postpone it’s quite hard to go to post office during MCO (partial lockdown). But this small yet earnest act also unleashed my good-old hobby of me since I used to exchange letters with others from local book club on Facebook. Bringing back the joy of writing and the little excitement in waiting for the letters. And now that MCO is getting leniency, I finally decided to send the letters before eid.

I must say being a perfectionist making it a lot harder to create a nice aesthetic letter. I took about 3 to 5 hours just for a letter. Though the joy in the process of constructing one makes time passed unnoticeable. I also took the chance to document the process of me penpalling some of the letters!

2.      Y O U T U B E

FINALLY, the motivation to record and edit videos resurfaced back to me after almost half a year of missing out. I recorded myself penpalling and uploaded one video, the very first video of the year :’) I’m now trying to edit more videos, including the footages from last year, and I’m planning on recording some more. Hopefully I’ll get to upload one more before eid.

*My channel is Haeyba <3

3.      R E A D I N G

Sadly, it seems like I’m getting back reading slump right now. Despite having all the free time in hand, my reading slump attack me back huh. Or maybe I’m just too preoccupied with youtube and penpalling. One of my 2020 resolution is to write more book reviews. Hopefully I’ll get to that somehow.

Watchlist

1.      Anne With An E (Netflix / CBC)

One of my junior recommended me to watch Anne With An E, knowing how I love classic story when I posted Little Women movie. AND I’M GREATLY THANKFUL FOR THAT!!! I actually stumbled upon the show years ago when it first started, but somehow I forgot the existence of the show. I was quite skeptical to watch it at first, expecting that it’s going to be a typical story of the little adventures of girls growing up and try to fit in the society. But boy, I was wrong. The story offered MUCH more than that, tackling the sensitive and prominent issues that’s still relevant to nowadays society problems. I had to restrain myself from watching all 3 seasons at one sit since it’s too good that I don’t want it to end early. I’m thinking on writing a full review of the show.

2.      Hospital Playlist (Netflix)

This is the only kdrama I’m watching right now after When The Weather is Fine ended 3 weeks ago. Quite a surprise that I’m only watching one episode of drama per week! I just don’t find other airing dramas to be delectable to watch at the moment. This is a perfect drama for me. I love how subtle and lightweight the story is. I learnt a lot about life from this drama. Every single characters have their own sides of story, it’s not only revolving around the 4 doctor-band squad and that what makes the drama more wholesome and unique. I watched ep 10 yesterday and got a roller coaster of emotions. 2 more episodes to go, I’m not ready to let this drama go :’) Oh and I’m NOT GOING TO SETTLE DOWN if PD-nim decides to troll us with our precious Winter Garden couple !!! Gyeo-ul deserve much more than an unrequited love. *puppy eyes. I’m also wondering how will Ik Jun and Song Hwa’s relationship develop, hopefully this is not a false alarm since it’s SO OBVIOUS.

I guess that’s all for now. Thank you for reading this <3 May the remaining Ramadhan become a become a blessed for us , ameen.